With you, yes, you seek, you dream, you look to the future as a challenging goal and you plan to build it by putting the best of yourself into play. I leave you these lines. I hope they can be of help to you.
Regarding your concern about your ability to leave everything for the ALL, which is Jesus, He Himself will help you to better understand what you should do. Of course, you will not find it in any book or recipe book, no matter how Christian its author may be. Each one of us must discover our own way, and we will never discover more than what we need to follow, step by step; giving new answers to each situation of life, always within the only way: JESUS.
It would be very impoverishing to have everything written down, besides inhibiting our freedom, which God himself has given us. Therefore, life becomes more exciting in this continuous construction and personal responsibility to respond to the situations of life.
I know that one of your greatest concerns is to be certain that God is calling you to serve him in a specific way, without knowing exactly what it is, and that sometimes this apparent silence of God is disconcerting. We are so used to receive orders, to be programmed everything we have to do (think of your family, your teachers,…), to listen in advertising what we should buy, eat, wear, think… that when we meet God and we ask Him and He does not answer as others do, we feel confused; however, God is not silent. God speaks softly and we have to listen to him. God speaks through your personal history, through the events of your life and through the needs of the people who live around you. And never forget that God always respects your freedom.
Another concern that arises in this walk revolves around the question: How do I know that I have made the right decision? In these matters of life there are no magic formulas or keys that give the certainty of the right answer. Each one builds his life and his history on the decisions he makes and God manifests himself in the inner peace that one feels when one has decided the right thing to do, even if it is not easy to do so. What is at stake is one’s happiness, therefore, one cannot make hasty decisions with the emotion or discouragement of an instant (this is where mistakes are made), but it is necessary to sit down and reflect continuously on what one has lived, on what one wants for the future and on what, from the deepest, noblest and most generous part of oneself, one feels called to be and, from there, to decide. 4That is why it is important that you have your accompaniment notebook where you take note of all these reflections and capture, in your own style, your personal history of salvation, which is nothing more than the action of God in your life (values, motivations, questions, doubts, illusions, observations, criticisms, discoveries…) In addition, prayer and conversion with your companion about this personal history of salvation are means that can also help you to see your path with a little more clarity.
I hope I have helped you to clarify something with this letter. I believe it will be of great help to you in your process.
Natividad MIKUE MBÁ OBONO. MMI.
